“Is she breathing?”
“I think so.”
“Why did I not listen to Aubrey? I should have. This would not have happened. She was a mistake.”
“Don’t say that, honey. She’s not a mistake.”
“It is a miracle that she is even alive.”
“She is a miracle, isn’t she.”
Labored breathing distracts me from their conversation. I will myself to open my eyes, to let myself see Cassidy and Jerad. They’re right in front of me, so why can’t I acknowledge their presence? My eyelids feel like bricks, my limbs super-glued to the stiff surface below me.
Quiet sobs fill the room. I try to open my eyes again, but they won’t budge. Angrily, I try to sit up, and feel only a solid wall in front of me.
“Do you think she even remembers what caused this predicament?” I hear Cassidy mutter.
My mind flashes back, my thoughts floating around freely. Of course I remember what happened. My thoughts are oddly detached, and I see myself as if through another’s body.
Janessa stands awkwardly in the corner as her peers file into the living room. She’s biting her lip, unaware of the glances she’s receiving from the other kids. They don’t know any better, she tells herself, but she plays with her lavender gloves all the same.
The always-energetic Robyn flies over to her, her namesake visible in her flighty arms and slim, agile figure. She places a hand on Janessa’s shoulder, but Janessa shies away from the contact. Robyn smooths over the moment by smiling brightly at her.
“You still came, even though it’s pouring out there,” she comments. Janessa nods. Why would something like rain stop me from coming? she wonders, but knows better than to question the oddities that the other kids say sometimes. She’s learned enough.
The party goes smoothly enough. Janessa keeps to herself, but when she’s invited to an event, she doesn’t decline. Robyn seems to be having fun, and that’s all that matters to her. Cindy even invites her into the kitchen to have a cup of tea, but she declines. Janessa decides to sit with her instead.
“How’s the party going?” Cindy asks, after taking a long sip.
How would I know? “It’s going well,” Janessa offers, pushing her cup away. She’s not in the mood for tea anymore. I’m not in the mood for this party. I might as well go home. She stands up from her chair, but Cindy’s quizzical and slightly hurt expression stops her.
“Where are you going so quickly?” she teases, patting the chair. “Sit down for a spell, Essa.”
“Please don’t call me that,” Janessa says automatically. Don’t shorten my name without my permission. Is Cindy even your real name? She knows that she’s been on-edge the entire day, but she can’t bring herself to stop her insults.
That night, Robyn wakes Janessa up from one of the greatest dreams she’s ever had. Spencer and Mallory had both come back from boarding school, although Mallory had dropped out. She couldn’t handle the rigorous coursework anymore. Janessa was overjoyed. She remembered that her parents hadn’t been present in the dream. That’s fine with me. In her perfect world, she would be raised by Cindy. I wouldn’t want Robyn to be my sister, though.
After a short conversation, Robyn falls silent, deep in thought. Janessa asks her what’s wrong, but she remains silent for a few more minutes. Finally, she says, “I’m just wondering if we can trust each other, is all.”
Janessa assures her that they can, indeed, trust each other, intrigued by what she might have to say. Robyn’s next words surprise her so much that she answers without thinking.
“Who do you like in our grade?”
“Jeremy Ansari, why?” Janessa feels her face flushing red, but she stands her ground with a defiant expression.
“I’m just wondering, silly. I promise that I won’t tell anyone.” Something in Robyn’s eyes glints with malice, but Janessa doesn’t notice, lost in her own doubts. Was telling Robyn such a great idea? She wouldn’t break a promise… would she?
Back at home, Steven Pfeiffer is born. The next day, once Janessa’s arrived home again, she meets the bouncing bundle of joy and instantly dislikes him. He takes up space in my room, he’s loud, and I don’t want him. She keeps her thoughts to herself, but everything boils under the surface: her doubts, her anger, her irritation… soon, she’ll pop.
Fast forward to her twelfth birthday, two months later, and she’s standing in front of the birthday cake, ready to blow out her candles. Her family surrounds her, counting down from three. Why three? Why not seven, to represent the number of letters in my name? she muses.
That is her last thought before she hits the ground, images of flames burned into her subconsciousness. Then, pain envelops her. Burning pain. Not on the outside, but on the inside, dangerously close to her heart. Once she pinpoints the exact source, she falls into a dead faint, already lying on the cool kitchen floor.
I shudder as I see myself laying there. I do look dead. It is a miracle that I’m still with my parents and siblings. But, why? What caused me to pass out? What caused the pain? Because from my vision, the fire hadn’t touched me until I was already out like a light.
I finally gather enough strength to whisper, “Why?”
And Cassidy gathers enough strength to whisper back, “Because of the curse.”
Everything swirls about in my mind, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place. When I was little, Cassidy warned me of this. She told me, before I could fully form a sentence with my tiny mouth.
“Janessa, look at me. This is very important. When you are older, you run the risk of the curse killing you from inside. This is how Grandma Aubrey died. She went into the sunlight, and the curse killed her. It can kill you, too. It is dangerous to have it inside of your body. Even the slightest contact can slowly spread inside your veins, turning them to ash. You will know if this happens. If it does… I do not know if you will survive. You need strong willpower to survive something as fatal as that.”
Thankfully, willpower is something I was blessed with.
Blessed Curse 